Readers of the blog often send me their questions about sex and relationships, and one that I’ve heard several times recently concerns infidelity and whether there are any reliable indicators or red flags that your partner might be unfaithful. For example, one reader asked: “How can you tell if your man is cheating? What are the signs to look for?”
Read MoreReaders of the blog frequently send me questions about sex, and I’ve noticed that some of them seem to pop up more often than others. One that I find myself hearing over and over again is whether medications can potentially be transferred from one sexual partner to another through semen. For example, these are just a few of the many questions that I’ve received recently:
“My boyfriend is currently taking prednisone, which I'm allergic to. Will this steroid come to my body through his semen?”
Read MoreI’m answering more of YOUR questions about sex today. In the video below, I’ll review ten questions submitted by readers of Sex and Psychology and explore what science can tell us about each one. As in previous videos, these questions cover a very diverse range of topics, from how long people tend to spend on sex to the effectiveness of the “pull-out” method to how many people have shaved their pubic hair. The specific questions are listed below. Check out the video for the answers!
Read MoreToday, I’m answering YOUR questions about sex. I’ve put together a brief video in which I review ten questions submitted by readers of Sex and Psychology and explore what science can tell us about each one. These questions cover a very diverse range of topics, from the best sexual position for orgasm to how often people think about sex to the sexual appeal of BDSM.
Read MoreHere's an updated list of the ten most read Q&As of all time on the blog. These questions (all submitted by readers of Sex and Psychology) span quite the range of topics. Some of them are united by this theme: “What’s normal when it comes to sex?” Others, however, focus more on curiosity about different sexual practices, as well as what's safe when it comes to sex.
Read MoreA reader asked:
“What percentage of men and women actually enjoy giving or receiving oral sex?”
Good question! Let me start by saying that oral sex has become an incredibly common sexual practice in the United States in recent years. In fact, nationally representative survey studies have routinely found that the vast majority of both men and women have engaged in this activity. For example, recent data from the National Survey of Family Growth finds that 86-87% of American adults aged 18-44 have done it at least once (see here for stats on other sexual behaviors).
Read MoreI received an email from a reader the other day who read an article chastising a lot of popular magazines and websites for pushing the narrative that we should be having sex more often because it’s good for our health. The point of this article was to say that when sex becomes a utilitarian activity, it takes all the fun out of it—it becomes something we think we need to do instead of something we want to do. The reader asked what I thought about this idea, and my answer is simple: I completely agree. And here’s why.
Read MoreA reader submitted the following question:
"Why do men have nipples? Do they have some purpose I don't know about?"
Thanks for this great question! I've been asked about this many times before while teaching human sexuality classes to college students, so here's what I tell them:
Read MoreA reader asked the following question:
“Is it true that peeing right after sex can stop you from getting a UTI?”
Thanks for this great question. Let’s take a look at what the research says. Before we do, let me first mention that it is pretty well established that urinary tract infections (UTIs) can be caused by sexual activity; however, this appears to be something that happens to women more often than men [1].
Read MoreFor today's post, I have put together an updated list of the ten most read Q&As of all time on the blog. As you'll see, these questions (all submitted by readers of Sex and Psychology) span quite a range of topics. However, most of them are united by the same theme: “What’s normal when it comes to sex?” What you'll see when you read the answers is that “normal” does not mean just one thing!
10. How often do married couples have sex? (It turns out that there's a lot of variability, and frequency seems to depend a lot on people's age. However, it's important to note that more isn't always better when it comes to sex and that, as we age, quality of sex becomes much more important than quantity.)
Read MoreA reader submitted the following question:
"I'm in a long-distance relationship and it's tough. Are there any tips or tricks to help keep a relationship alive when you can't physically be with your partner very often?"
Great question! You're not alone in finding the experience of a long-distance relationship to be difficult. However, while these relationships undeniably pose some unique challenges, it's definitely possible for them to not only work out, but to be just as strong as relationships in which the partners live close to one another.
Read MoreA reader submitted the following question:
"Is it OK to have sex if you're pregnant? Especially during the later months?"
You're not alone in wondering about this. In fact, survey studies have found that 25-50% of pregnant women and 25% of their partners are concerned that sex could potentially hurt or "traumatize" a developing fetus [1]. Such concerns have the effect of causing many pregnant couples to have sex less often than they'd like, or perhaps to have sex that is less satisfying than usual because they are anxious or worried. Fortunately, research suggests that these concerns are largely unfounded.
Read MoreFor the last two weeks, I’ve been inundated with both reader questions and requests for media interviews on a topic I’ve rarely been asked about before: urophilia, which refers to being sexually aroused by urine. Initially, most of the inquiries were looking for comment on why a certain high-profile public figure allegedly has this sexual interest, and I was not about to get involved in that—I’m not in the business of commenting on the rumored sexual proclivities of celebrities or politicians. However, the questions I'm getting now have shifted away from attempts to understand a specific person and toward a more general curiosity about the prevalence and psychological origins of urophilia. These are the kinds of queries I’m much more inclined to answer. So, here’s what we know.
Read MoreA reader submitted the following question:
“I wonder, does the penis get any smaller with age? In other words, does the penis shrink as men get older?”
Thanks for this great question! If you try searching Google for the answer, you’ll quickly come across lots of articles saying that this does indeed occur—however, none of those articles actually cite any research to back up their claims. Instead, they rely on the opinions of physicians and other medical experts. That's all well and good, but I always like to have data. So, I did some digging.
Read MoreA reader submitted the following question:
“How long is sex supposed to last?”
If you ask around, you’ll undoubtedly come across a lot of different answers to this question. For instance, let’s consider a study in which sex therapists were surveyed about their thoughts on this topic.
Read MoreA male reader submitted the following question:
“Are wet dreams a sign that you aren’t ejaculating very much when you’re awake?”
Thanks for this very interesting question! So-called “wet dreams”—known among sex researchers as nocturnal emissions—are indeed related to men’s sexual behaviors during waking hours.
Read MoreA reader submitted the following question:
“Is it true that gay men have bigger penises than straight men?”
While some research suggests that there might indeed be some truth to this idea, the findings warrant a hefty dose of caution. Here why:
Read MoreA reader submitted the following question:
“I have had one sexual partner and contracted herpes from him. Though I haven't had sex in 5-7 years and no recurrence of symptoms, I am scared about it recurring and giving it to a partner who will freak out on me and curse me. I want to get married, but I am never going to be comfortable telling my partner about having this infection. What do you think I can do so that recurrence doesn’t occur and I can enjoy condom free sex with my partner?”
Thank you for sending in this question. Genital herpes is one of the most common sexually transmitted infections (STIs)—in fact, the CDC estimates that about 16% of the U.S. population has it. As a result, you are far from the only one out there who wants to know more about how to manage this infection, especially in the context of a relationship with a partner who doesn’t have it.
Read MoreA reader submitted the following question:
“I have read several blogs and magazines saying that having sex during menstruation can help to alleviate cramps. Is there any truth to this? Is there any research? Also is there any risk in having sex in those moments?”
Thanks for these great questions! With respect to the idea that sex reduces cramping and pain during menstruation, you’re right—there are a TON of websites out there making this claim. I did a quick search and saw it mentioned on WebMD, Kinsey Confidential, Medical Daily, and ABC News, among many, many others.
However, not a single one pointed to a specific study or source to back this idea up.
Read MoreA reader submitted the following question:
"How many people over age 50 are still having sex?"
Older adults are often assumed to be celibate, but the truth of the matter is that many of us remain sexually active for our entire lives.
As some evidence of this, let's consider findings from a recent, nationally representative U.S. survey of adults aged 14-94.
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